Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Blame it on the Vampire? by Marie March

I have always been fascinated with the idea of succumbing to an intrinsically evil creature like a vampire. It seems no matter the upbringing, ideals, inhibitions or sexual hang-ups a vampire can break the strongest resolve.

Certainly, it's a no-brainer to blame the vampire. I mean he/she is employing that hypno-erotic-enthrallment-thingy that always gets the gal/guy no matter how much of a tight-a$$ they are. However, could enthrallment be the only cause? I posed this question to some friends, and after much thought, endless lattes, and bars of chocolate, we refused to buy into that lame excuse. Extensive research (on our part) confirmed not everyone is predisposed to mind-manipulation (especially my bud, Angie, who continues her love affair with bacon). So, if a vampire's allure isn't always the reason for a woman's capitulation, what is? I'll impart my theory and leave you to decide for yourself.

Consider this; you are on a first date and a Mr. Hunky takes you to dinner, clubbing, maybe a movie, and if he's really trying to get you in the sack--all three. He does everything right, you find the evening enjoyable. Then, it's time for the good night kiss. He lays one on you, putting everything into the moment. Once he's done checking your tonsils you realize the chemistry between you is more sputter than sizzle. Conversely, Mr. Hunky thinks it's a home run and wants a repeat. After picking your jaw up off the doorstep, you tell him the standard, 'I-think-you're-a-great-guy-and-I-hope-we-can-be-friends' spiel, shut the door in his face, and conclude Mr. Vibrator is the one constant in an ever-disappointing dating pool.

Then, like a bad B movie, the loser begins stalking you. You see him everywhere---your house, at work even the grocery store. Until one rainy evening, he appears outside your bedroom window at midnight beckoning you to let him in. If that's not enough to turn your hair gray, he insists he's your fate- mate before expressing the desire to sex you up while draining your carotid artery.

Be honest, how would you react? If you are a reasonable person you would be at the cop-shop demanding twenty-four hour protection, and a restraining order after purchasing a nine-mil along with a German Shepard named Kills-Many, who, responds to the attack command in seven languages. Now, given this creepy scenario, why would the setup prove irresistible with a vamp as the stalker?

For what it's worth, this is my theory. If a sinfully sexy, cultured, wealthy master of seduction decided his only requirement was me naked, and willing then I would have to say let the games begin! Really, Mr. Northman, enthrallment is unnecessary. I'll leave with you now, would you like me to drive? What's the hold-up? Are we going or what?

Additionally, a vampire has a lot more than the above four influences working to his advantage. Most notably, he comes without the bothersome and sometimes oinkish qualities of the all-too-human male. Let's face it, Eric/Bill/Spike/Angel isn't going to drop his dirty underwear and socks on the bedroom floor within reach of the clothes hamper. I'm certain he's not gonna pile food-encrusted dishes in the sink, and leave the toilet seat up either. Besides, I have yet to read a book, or take in a movie where a vampire empties his pockets leaving coins, crumpled fivers, gum wrappers, gas receipts, movie stubs, and wads of lint strewn over every available surface in his house.

Are you reading this, Kev?

Ultimately, books and movies cast vampires in nefarious roles with few exceptions. Only a true mate overcomes bias and fear to uncover the vamp's tiny nugget of goodness. Still, despite this glimmer of redemption, the idea of blood exchanges, M/s relationships, and forsaking everything to glean a vampire's love seems, well, insane. On the other hand, as I ponder what to prepare for supper, fold a third basket of laundry, and pick up after my family; I have to ask myself…really, how bad could insanity be?

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  1. Thanks so much, Tonya, for hosting me on your loverly blog.

    ~Marie :)

  2. Thanks Marie for joining us during Octoberfest. I can't wait to get started reading your books:)